I’m changing my life 100%: quitting marketing as a career to go back to school on the incredible slim chance that I could actually get into medical school, going back to school full time, moving out of my too expensive apartment and I’m engaged.

Deciding to go back to school has been on my mind since 2004 when my mom died. I felt so hopeless sitting there in the Hospice room not being able to do anything.  Not that I could’ve even if I was a doctor.  But I made a decision the very day my mom died that I would go back to school and study medicine.  I’ve been sidetracked a few times, gotten off the path and sometimes just plain forgotten about my goal but I never really have given up on the dream.  Maybe it’s just a unreachable dream, but I’ll never know unless I try.

Getting into medical school is hard. Medical school is extemely hard.  Residency is hard. Actually, it’s never going to be easy again and I don’t care.  I can’t feel regret anymore. It’s now or never. I have to do it.  In ten years, I’ll either be 38 and a doctor or 38 and not a doctor.  Either way, I’ll be 38 and I don’t want to wonder “what-if?”

Now, I don’t think I’m uniquely smart. In fact, some days I’m amazed at how dumb I can be.  I’m not the hardest worker, or the fastest and I definitely don’t sleep the least amount of hours, but I guarantee I’m the most persistent.  That doesn’t mean I don’t fail. Ohhhhh no.  I fail more than anyone else I know.  In fact, I’d say I’m constantly setting myself up for failure.  This time may be another set up.  Part of me, actually most of me, kinda thinks I’ll fail.  But another part of me thinks that I have no choice but to succeed.  I worry about people seeing me as a failure.  I worry that people will see what I’m trying to do and laugh.  Why do I even care?  I don’t know.

For me, there is no going back.  I like working in marketing, internet marketing, social media but I don’t really feel like it’s where I’m supposed to be. I don’t feel like I’m in my element. I see other people who are doing great things that I really admire in my field and I just know that no matter what, I’ll never be there. I just don’t have the passion for it like I thought I would.  In the morning, I don’t look forward to going to work.  In fact, I try to think of every excuse not to go.  That’s really no way to live.  Sometimes I look at the people I have worked with or my managers that one day I might have their position and think, “Wow, I really, really don’t want to be there.”  Most of the people I work with are wonderful, amazing and admirable people, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want their life.  I especially don’t want their job.  Most of that time I just think that I really really don’t want to be where they are. Maybe being a doctor isn’t where I’ll want to be either, but I need to find out.

I know that more than anything else I love helping people. Health is majorly important to me. There are more reasons why I feel like I should be a doctor, but I don’t really want to go into it here.  All I can say is, I can care less how much money I make or how prestegious it sounds.  I really just want to help people.

To say I’m terrified is the understatement of the year, but I’m not going to let that fear stop me.  The other day I read this quote from Anna Quindlen that I think sums up what I’m doing rather well:

“So often the things we do out of fearlessness-saying, ‘You know what? I don’t care. I’m gonna take that leap.’ Those are the great success.”

There are some other great quotes that probably apply here too. Let’s see. How about?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao-tzu

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”  -Pablo Picasso

“The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”  -Robert F. Kennedy

“What is more mortifying than to feel you’ve missed the Plum for want of courage to shake the Tree?”  -Logan Pearsall Smith

“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” -Wayne Gretzky

“What is to give light must endure burning.” – Viktor Frankle (my favorite)

OK. Here I go. I’m going to hold my nose, close my eyes and jump off that cliff.

View from the house in Beverly Hills

Two years ago I got a very strange call from a gentleman that was looking for a personal assistant. Apparently, I had applied to a job that he had listed with a yacht crew agency, but actually didn’t remember having ever applied. He lived in Beverly Hills, had other homes around the world, a private jet, a yacht and was an extremely great guy. After talking with him for hours he flew me out to Los Angeles for an interview that I thought would take a day and then I would fly back. I ended up getting offered the job and although a little hesitant at first I accepted.

I ended up flying with this gentleman in his private jet, making friends with some famous friends of his and living a life that some people only dream of. My work car was a MB SL 65 AMG. I had one at every one of his houses. Paparazzi followed me down the Sunset strip. Valet people let me go to the front of the line. Sound too good to be true? It was. One day he decided he didn’t need a personal assistant anymore and like that the job was over. Weird how things work out. After that short two months I understand now why they call it Hollyweird.

Oh, as a result of this experience I now think of Chuck Norris at this time every year because his birthday is March 10th. Don’t ask me to explain how I know this- it’s just too weird how I have this permanently etched in my memory.

Ben Folds The Luckiest (this is my top choice)

Kenny Chesney Me and You (Original Video Here)

This Year’s Love David Gray

At My Most Beautiful R.E.M. (okay this song probably isn’t a good dance or wedding song but I think it’s beautiful and romantic)

Northern Sky Nick Drake (this video is the only one I could find)

Lucky Jason Mraz

Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop Landon Pigg
The Promise Tracy Chapman (my dad loves Tracy Chapman. He would love if I used this song)

You Say it Best When You Say Nothing at All Alison Krause (truthfully I’ve been thinking about this song since I was about 14)

Steady As We Go DMB

At Last Etta James (of course this is in here-what girl doesn’t consider this?)

I think that’s a pretty good list for now.

I’ve been running for the fun of it since I was in the 2nd grade but never felt really confident enough to race. I’ve always loved running and have done a few 5ks although never anything serious.  So while other people say they are afraid of the running because they were never really all that athletic, I’m not going to lie, I was athletic.  I’m not afraid of the running part!  I’m afraid of the raising money part! What if I can’t raise $5500? That’s a lot of money!  What if people don’t want to help me because they’ve helped other people in the past? I’m scared!

My goal is to raise $5500 in order to make it to Alaska and luckily have already received my first donation (thanks Dan!).  Check out my donations website to see my progress!

Caribbean beach on Isla Margarita Venezuela

I had 35k American Airline frequent flyer miles burning a hole in my pocket (really, they were going to expire December 31) so I started looking around for a way to use them.  I knew I wanted to go somewhere out of the country, but that few of miles won’t get you too far; they’re mainly good for upgrading to business class.  Being a frugal travel (ha! I mean being someone that doesn’t have any money to spare) I researched on aa.com how far 35k miles would take me and it looks they go about as far as Venezuela.

I’ve never really had much interest in Venezuala, but I have known a few good people from there so I decided that Venezuela would be my vacation destination in May of 2009.  Now I’m only going to be gone for a week so it’s not typical Jerri style escape where I go for a month at a time.  These days I have to pay rent so I can’t really jet off like I used to in the good ole days. I’m a little worried about how safe it is in Venezuala and I speak enough Spanish to get me into trouble – remind me to tell you about the gypsy cab I took in Buenos Aires.

No itinerary yet. Wait. I’ll probably never have an itinerary. I don’t roll like that! I have a round trip ticket, credit cards, a passport and that’s enough to get me by.  Am I back in the saddle again?

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I’ve been singing to animals every since I can remember. Because I didn’t have animals when I was little (like 4 years old) I used to climb my neighbors’ fences and sing to their dogs. They would stop, line up like my own little audience and listen. I still sing to my cats, but I don’t climb my neighbors’ fences anymore (or do I?).
2. I sleep on my back with my arms and feet crossed and a pillow on my head. Yes, on my head. Like I’m in a coffin. I’ve slept like this my whole life.
3. Although I know I’ve seen many really great movies, I can never remember which one is my favorite. Even when the movie is over and I say to myself, “This is your favorite movie Jerri. Try to remember.” I will still forget. The same goes for food. Although I am pretty sure my favorite veggie is Asparagus.
4. My proudest moment ever in my life was making varsity softball as a freshman in high school and starting at third base. We ended up getting 3rd at state! We were awesome!
5. When I’m eating, I only eat one type of food at a time on my plate. I know this is actually bad manners, but I can’t help it. It’s just me. I also will not drink anything, not even water, with my meal. I also refuse to eat it any other way than it was prepared. Meaning I won’t add mustard, ketchup, salt or pepper, etc.
6. I’m obsessed, obsessed I tell you, with hotels. I read about them constantly and want to own several one day. I even write hotel owners to see if their hotels are for sale. I chicken out when they tell me that they are though. I already have my hotels designed and named and know exactly where I want it to be.

My tags are:

Maggie
Karina
Kerry
Glen
Brian
Kristina